Alex Hormozi, a while back, decided not to visit his hometown because he did not want to bring forth old memories, memories of where he felt he was not in a great place.
So, there’s a strange myth about the festive season.
That it’s meant to be warm. That it’s meant to feel connected. That it’s meant to look like togetherness, laughter, shared tables, and familiar faces.
And yet, for so many people, this time of year does the opposite.
For some, family gatherings don’t feel safe, they feel activating. Old roles resurface. Unspoken expectations tighten the chest. You suddenly find yourself shrinking, over-explaining, staying quiet, or bracing for comments you already know are coming.
You might notice yourself becoming the responsible one again. The peacemaker. The one who holds it together so no one else has to.
And for others… there is no gathering at all.
No noise. No arguments. No traditions to navigate.
Just quiet.
And that quiet can feel heavy, especially when the world keeps telling you that this is the season of together.
Here’s something rarely said out loud:
Both experiences can hurt. And neither means there’s something wrong with you.
Family triggers don’t appear because you’re weak, they appear because your nervous system learned long ago how to survive in that environment. It's a familiar, a familiar that your nervous system has actually been guiding you to NOT welcome.
And loneliness during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re behind in life, it simply highlights a very human need for connection and belonging.
What makes this season particularly intense is that it pulls us back into memory. I get you, Alex.
The subconscious doesn’t care how old you are. It remembers who you were when you first learned to stay small… or to be strong… or to cope alone.
So if you notice yourself feeling more emotional, more reactive, more tired, or more withdrawn - pause before judging yourself.
Nothing is “wrong.” Something old is being touched which probably needs to be released.
So, this year, instead of forcing yourself to perform festive cheer or resilience, I invite you to try something different:
If you’re with family, notice where you’re abandoning yourself to keep the peace and gently come back to yourself. Coming back to yourself doesn’t require confrontation, it starts with choosing not to override your needs. Noticing where you feel tension and quietly naming it helps you come back to yourself instead of reacting automatically.
If you’re on your own, let the quiet be honest, not shameful. Loneliness is not a failure; it’s information. Perhaps taking the courage and reaching out to someone else for a laugh, a chat will do it.
You don’t need to fix anything this season. You don’t need to heal everything at the dinner table. You don’t need to turn solitude into a productivity project.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stay present with yourself without judgement, without comparison, without pressure to feel any particular way.
This season isn’t asking you to be festive. It’s asking you to be kind to your nervous system.
And if today feels heavy, know this: You are not forgotten. You are not behind. And you are not alone in feeling this way even if it feels that way right now.
With warmth and immense gratitude,
Aurore
I am a certified RTT hypnotherapist and I trained with the one and only Marisa Peer.
I help men and women overcome emotional and physical challenges, whether that’s anxiety,…
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